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Day 13 of Ananda Commitment - Above Love

Updated: Jan 15


I had the MOST incredible meditation experience that I’ve had in years. In each energy center, I felt waves of beautiful, warm energy flowing out of the chakras and expanding, like ripples of water. When I came to my heart center, I felt a deep love that shocked me into a state that I’ve never felt before. I had a vision of the most violent and “evil” people in history. I was just watching them do every day things, and I could sense that they were (and are) perfect souls with layers of imperfect “self” over the souls. I watched as the layers were peeled back from these tyrants, and I saw more and more light shining through them.

I watched my body die, and start to decompose. I felt nothingness and COMPLETE detachment from that body as I floated away from it. I could feel that I was about to enter another life, like I was being drawn into another being, somewhere across time and space.

Beams of light entered every center, and I felt this pulsing of energy, like a warm and gentle flow of perfect light entering and expanding each center. I felt so much expansion. For long periods there were no thoughts at all. Occasionally, a thought like: “This is so beautiful“, or “What the f^@k is happening right now?” would pop up, but for the most part I couldn’t even think a full thought. There was glorious silence in my mind. My breathing was taken over by something, as it often is, but this time I could only hear breath, it’s like it had nothing whatsoever to do with me. The exhales were long, slow and complete, and then the breath would be suspended for so long that it was uncomfortable. I’ve heard so many people say that they experience this as well, and I can’t help but to wonder, what it’s all about.


I was able to be more present than ever after such a meditation. The monkey mind slowed way down for the rest of the day, and still, as I’m writing this almost 24 hours later, my mind is the quietest and most still that it’s ever been outside of meditation. It feels blissful.


I didn’t go on social media and I didn’t take in any information at all.


I trusted life completely and I had a totally different understanding of what it means to allow life to guide me. I really made my decisions based on what life told me to do. Mom with groceries.


Moved toward loving Mochi, my little black and white cat. I’ve been struggling to forgive him for peeing constantly on any clothing that we leave anywhere. I don’t know why he does this, but I accepted it and held him for a long time yesterday. I was definitely saying YES.


I gave my time and my presence to my daughter, to my son and to Will without worrying about time or being somewhere else - it was lovely.


It’s hard not to want to stay in this very peaceful, equanimous state. It’s hard to know that “This too shall pass”, as all things do. It surely will.



The “rules” or guidelines for a year of Ananda (See Ananda definition here)

* I will be as present as possible, grateful and loving what arises. I will focus on serving whatever is in front of me joyfully.

* No social media scrolling! I will only post my content and answer comments and questions that are on my content.

* No intake of external information. No more podcasts, books, audiobooks, YouTube videos or information of any kind. 😳 I will turn inwards for answers, guidance and information.

* I will trust life COMPLETELY. No more struggle, striving, controlling, wanting or trying to make something happen. I will trust and know that whatever is in my life is perfect, and I don’t need to fix or change it.

* I will move toward what I resist, NO personal preferences or agendas. I will say YES to all of life. (Unless I'm in physical danger, of course)

* I will engage in as many spiritual practices as possible every day.

* I will focus on GIVING and SERVING.



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