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Day 5 Of The Commitment To Ananda, Lost In Mind Movies


The stories my mind creates are so powerful.


While talking to Will, my fiancé’, this morning, I wondered off into thought. I noticed that I was in a completely different world than he was in. I was taken away by a story that was playing out vividly, like a movie. When I returned to listening to Will, I realized that I hadn’t been listening for at least a minute or two. I really had no idea what he was talking about.


In my yoga class today, I naturally started breathing into all of the discomfort in my body in each position. As I breathed slowly and deliberately (mindfully), I just loved the body part that was being stretched or strained. It felt amazing. I was so much more present, and yoga felt like one long guided meditation to help me fall more and more deeply in love with my body. I felt that I was more flexible, balanced and strong than usual. I truly was completely present 90% of the time. A few times I caught myself in a fantasy of the yoga instructor telling me what a good job I was doing. I was a little disgusted by this arrogance, but I decided to just get back into the practice of breathing and loving my body. My ego was just popping in to say hi, and I’m thankful that I caught myself in that fantasy.


While in the shower, I was actually able to stay completely present again. The warm water felt amazing, and I felt every bit of it. It’s so amazing how alive I feel when I’m present, just breathing, open to experience.


I successfully avoided scrolling social media, but... BUT... I did listen to a course for a few minutes. 🤭 It’s okay. I’ve decided that because this course is actually about living in surrender, it actually might be helpful on this journey. I will allow myself 22 minutes each day to listen to this program - for now.


Life was effortless today. I found it easier to be with my family, and to listen to them deeply. It helps me to appreciate them and know them as they are.


I did a bit of breath work in the morning, and I am still blown away by how euphoric just a few minutes of central channel breathing makes me feel. I meditated for two hours, and I was INCREDIBLY focused. I noticed almost immediately when I was carried off into thought, and I gently brought myself back to the meditation. I felt so much more focused. It deepened my meditation. When I arrived at the 8th chakra, I found that it was so open that it felt like a spinning disk, expanding outwards in every direction. I could see it, and it was pure white light. It felt heavenly, and while I focused on it, I noticed that I felt absolute trust and safety. I noticed that it felt safe even to die. I heard myself breathing and that’s all I could feel. I couldn’t feel my body for a while. I just felt breath, and I was breath. I had that beautiful experience of having no name, gender or identity. Just spirit. When I came back to feeling my body, I noticed that my hands had shifted into a Mudra. My thumbs were pointed straight up, and my fingers were clenched. Like this:


I found out that it’s called Merudanda, and it’s used to calm and center a person, and to intensify the ‘inner-smile’. Love that!

Today I felt I gave my full presence and attention to my daughter as she told me about an experience she had with her boyfriend. I also created a meditation, and I’m excited to share that with the YouTube community.


Overall, today was a success. I would like to be more mindful each day. We’ll see what unfolds!


The “rules” or guidelines for a year of Ananda (See Ananda definition here)

* I will be as present as possible, grateful and loving what arises. I will focus on serving whatever is in front of me joyfully.

* No social media scrolling! I will only post my content and answer comments and questions that are on my content.

* No intake of external information. No more podcasts, books, audiobooks, YouTube videos or information of any kind. 😳 I will turn inwards for answers, guidance and information.

* I will trust life COMPLETELY. No more struggle, striving, controlling, wanting or trying to make something happen. I will trust and know that whatever is in my life is perfect, and I don’t need to fix or change it.

* I will engage in as many spiritual practices as possible every day.

* I will focus on GIVING and SERVING.

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