It’s fairly late for me, (8:51pm I like to go to bed early) So I’m going to keep this entry short.
I didn’t take in any information today at all. It’s been easier and more natural to do my every day tasks without any background noise at all. I’m finding that I get things done much more quickly and without forgetting or spilling things 😊 I’m much more focused and attentive to things like making coffee, getting dressed and cleaning the house, and these things have become more pleasant.
The only occasions that I found to give were when people were talking I was able to listen attentively. I also didn’t argue my point when someone started talking about something I didn’t agree with at all. I was pretty proud of myself for not getting swept away into my own story and opinion.
I did catch myself scrolling social media today - totally unconsciously. I believe that it was because, for some reason, today was the most difficult day yet for me to stay present. I kept wanting to rush things. I had a hard time settling, and I felt the pressure of time all day. I found myself getting caught up in useless stories. I’m thinking of it like training, I’m doing my best with it, and I will become more and more present as time passes.
Interestingly, in spite of the fact that I didn’t have an easy time staying present today, I had one of the deepest meditations of my life. I was able to stay completely focused, and I found myself in that absolutely beautiful space of not having a body and not knowing my own name. I was breath. I was rising and falling, like gentle ocean waves of bliss.
I also noticed that my hands went into a different position than they ever have before. My left hand was in the air, palm up, and my right hand was pressed firmly on my knee, palm down. Lots of spontaneous vocalizations.
Also, last night I dreamt of fire. I was with a man - I believe it was Will. We were in the middle of a huge fire. Actually, white hot fire was completely engulfing us. The ground beneath us, the world all around us and even the sky was bright white fire. We weren’t even uncomfortable though. The man said something to me about saving the yard, and I knew that it was futile. I knew that EVERYTHING had turned to ashes. The world was on fire, and I just felt like all was well. Not a bit of discomfort. Strange.
The “rules” or guidelines for a year of Ananda (See Ananda definition here)
* I will be as present as possible, grateful and loving what arises. I will focus on serving whatever is in front of me joyfully.
* No social media scrolling! I will only post my content and answer comments and questions that are on my content.
* No intake of external information. No more podcasts, books, audiobooks, YouTube videos or information of any kind. 😳 I will turn inwards for answers, guidance and information.
* I will trust life COMPLETELY. No more struggle, striving, controlling, wanting or trying to make something happen. I will trust and know that whatever is in my life is perfect, and I don’t need to fix or change it.
* I will engage in as many spiritual practices as possible every day.
* I will focus on GIVING and SERVING.