I had A MUCH easier time staying present today. Yesterday was the most challenging day, and today I would say was the most successful. Slowing down, doing one thing with intention worked incredibly well. I was present so much more of the time. I was also happier, more peaceful and more fulfilled in very simple things.
During meditation, I have a brilliant plan to use kittens as currency instead of dollars and coins. It made me laugh out loud, and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I kept asking myself how it would actually work, and how many kittens would a can of cat food cost. This was funny at first, but time went on and it kept popping up. I became a little frustrated, and then I decided that if my meditation would be about kittens today, then that is what is. I relaxed with it, and I felt a voice say to me, “I love you no matter what”. I felt loved deeply by God. I felt that there was nothing that I needed to do to earn God’s love or to be more worthy of it. It felt okay to be distracted by silly, useless thoughts. I could be with that and love myself because God loves me.
I didn't scroll social media at all. Aside from the surrender course that I'm allowing myself to listen to for 22 minutes, I didn't take in any information at all. I drove for over two hours to be with Will, my fiance', and I repeated affirmations to myself, and prayed over and over. I asked God again and again to make it clear how I could serve. By the time I arrived at his house, I felt radiant. We danced and it was absolutely beautiful.
I trusted life, and life unfolded perfectly. I'm not a late night person, but even when the time reached midnight, I just relaxed into Will's arms and it felt so wonderful to be held. Usually I would be so anxious about the time that I wouldn't be able to experience anything good.
One of the most important parts of my commitment to Ananda is to drop all of my personal preferences and move into what I'm resistant to. Yesterday was the first day that I was able to do that (with only a couple of exceptions), and I believe what made this possible was reminding myself over and over that I intend to SERVE what's in front of me. I repeated a prayer, over and over, "Show me clearly where I can serve".
I meditated for about two and a half hours, and if you count the very mindful car ride, I guess I was in meditation for about 4.5 hours. 🎉🤗
The “rules” or guidelines for a year of Ananda (See Ananda definition here)
* I will be as present as possible, grateful and loving what arises. I will focus on serving whatever is in front of me joyfully.
* No social media scrolling! I will only post my content and answer comments and questions that are on my content.
* No intake of external information. No more podcasts, books, audiobooks, YouTube videos or information of any kind. 😳 I will turn inwards for answers, guidance and information.
* I will trust life COMPLETELY. No more struggle, striving, controlling, wanting or trying to make something happen. I will trust and know that whatever is in my life is perfect, and I don’t need to fix or change it.
* I will move toward what I resist, NO personal preferences or agendas. I will say YES to all of life. (Unless I'm in physical danger, of course)
* I will engage in as many spiritual practices as possible every day.
* I will focus on GIVING and SERVING.